Are You the Perfect Partner? get your perect partner

Are You the Perfect Partner? get your perect partner

One of the best ways to find and be found by your perfect partner is to be the perfect partner. If you are a person who is ready to date and prepared for the commitment and flexibility a serious romantic relationship requires, you will be much more likely to encounter and embrace the perfect partner when they come along.

Should You be Dating?

Odd as it may sound, this is the first question you should ask yourself when trying to determine whether or not you're a perfect partner. There are a million reasons why you might choose to take yourself out of the dating game for a limited amount of time. Some make this choice because they want to heal from a difficult breakup or some other life tragedy, while others make it because they want to focus their energy somewhere else for a while.

While the thought of not dating might be excruciating for you because it means you might miss out on meeting someone special, it's important that you take this deliberation seriously. You need to know, for sure, that it is a good time for you to be dating before you can meet anyone and form a serious relationship.

Can You Commit?

This question is almost as important as the previous one. Even if it is a good time for you to be dating, if you aren't ready or aren't in a place where you could commit to a serious romantic relationship, you might want to consider what type of partner you would really make.

Not being able to commit is not something to be ashamed of. If you're not ready, it might be OK to continue dating as long as you are up front about where you are at with any potential romantic partners. Some people want to date a lot of different people, have fun, and enjoy themselves, and if you find someone with those desires you could still be a great date.

There are also circumstances that may keep you from being ready. For instance, you might be contemplating a cross-country move or caring for a sick loved one. It's important that you know these things about yourself, so you can communicate them clearly to any potential partners.

Are You Open?

Relationships take a lot of work. No matter how compatible you are with someone else, there will be areas where the two of you differ, and you will need to determine how you're going to deal with those areas. If you aren't able to be accepting of this sort of difficulty and open to a person who is very different from you, you aren't the perfect partner right now, because you aren't ready to deal with the realities of what a serious relationship means.

It can be painful to realize that you aren't open enough to pursue finding the perfect partner at this time. However, that realization is the first step towards solving the problem. Work on your own openness, trying to understand and accept points of view different from your own. You might be surprised at how quickly this trait can change and your heart can be opened toward another.

Your Perfect Partner is Out There

It's hard to be single. There's no way around that. It's especially hard when you look around and see other people who have someone and wonder what's keeping you from that, or when you've just experienced the breakup of a relationship you really wanted to see work out.

On the other hand, being single means you get to date and dating can be a lot of fun. Even if you're an introvert or have had bad experiences before, dating offers you the chance to meet new people and have new experiences.

If you struggle to think about dating in a positive light, consider re-framing your attitude towards it. While you don't want to deny the fact that it is difficult, stressful, or whatever other negative aspects you think about when you consider it, changing some basic ways about how you think about it will help make it a more enjoyable experience.

It's Not Your Fault

The first thing to remember is the majority of the time, your singleness is not your fault. Unless you've chosen it deliberately or have isolated yourself from people you would potentially date, there's nothing inherent to who you are or what you're about that makes you single.

It's easy to believe that, if only you could change one thing, potential partners would come streaming in like water through a floodgate. The truth, though, is that it's a lot more complicated than that. There are things about everyone that make them incompatible with everyone else in some way, and forming a relationship is a process of figuring out how to work around those incompatibilities in a way that works for both of you.

Thus, obsessing over that one change won't help you. In fact, it will just make you more insecure about potential incompatibilities. Instead, concentrate on finding someone mature enough to work through those areas of incompatibility.

There's Someone Out There

A second false belief that is strong for most single people is that it doesn't matter how hard they look for a partner, because there is no one out there who will be right for them. This belief is particularly pervasive among people who have dated several people seriously, only to have each and every one of the relationships fall through.

It can be hard to continue to believe that your perfect partner is out there when all you see are the imperfect ones. However, it's necessary to keep hoping in order to keep up the motivation to continue looking, dating, and meeting new people. This belief is dangerous because it can be self-fulfilling. If you believe there's no one for you, you'll stop looking. And if you stop looking, you won't find the person because you'll have your eyes closed when they appear.

Keep as far away from this belief as possible. If necessary, have people close to you remind you that your search is not in vain. Do whatever you have to do to stay in the game, so your perfect partner can find you when the time is right.

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